Monday, November 16, 2009

REBOOT

Ok, so here it is.
So much has happened since the last time I blogged.
These events have, obviously, prompted me to close my old blog and open this new one.
New blog for new events, at least that’s how I want to look at it.

Recap:
Without going into all the sordid details, I am now living with my kids, just the three of us, in a new house, relatively far away from where we used to live. It’s been an adjustment for all parties involved but, thankfully, one that hasn’t been too taxing or difficult. I have a new, full-time job with a company that I’ve wanted to be a part of for almost a year. It was super tough to get in and even tougher now that I am part of the organization. But, it is something I’ve been praying for so I am thankful for it. New house, new job, almost a new me.

Realization:
When I wrote how I wanted my 30’s to be a decade of real living, meaning living according to how I wanted, with what I wanted, considering all that was important to me and weeding out the unnecessary things, little did I know how straight-to-the point and accurate the Universe was going to hand me what I wanted. It took a lot of clenching of the stomach and gritting of the teeth to move out and move on and now it’s taking even more of both to rediscover who I am and raise kids at the same time. I know it’s not a unique situation. In fact, it’s so commonplace it hurts. But it is MY unique situation and so I am dealing with it as any person would something that has never happened or that was never in the plan. Admittedly, I have no clue how to proceed half the time. SO I am relying a lot on ‘winging it’, for now.

Restart:
Here’s my plan then. Transition phase into life as it is now should be a roller coaster ride, if my personality is anything to go by. But I am bound and determined to look at it with positive eyes, to see it as a second chance to do better, be better, live better, love better. I am going to do my bloody best to make sure my kids feel loved and special, regardless of the situation we’ve placed them in. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to do that with the precious few hours in a day I have with them, but I will do it anyway. I am going to list down my non-negotiables and make sure that, this time, I really know what I want and that I don’t sacrifice these or settle for less. I am going to try my hardest to suck the marrow out of life, without fear, without regret. I am thinking shoot for the moon this time. Maybe I’ll get a to the moon and back.

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