I am quite sure my list of non-negotiables will be laughable but I don’t care. Too general or too specific as some may be, I am at a point where I am stuck on what I want. And I feel like writing it down (or blogging about it, as the case is) is a way to seal the deal, etch it in stone or cyberspace, cemented enough that the Universe cannot not pay attention.
So, here’s the list:
LOVE- Twilight-like, head-spinning Love (OK, even in parts is fine. This doesn’t have to be the case all the time)
LOVE MY KIDS- Pretty self-explanatory. You take me, you take them. Period.
RESPECT- yes, just what Aretha sang. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
FRIENDSHIP- this would include knowing and accepting me, and at least sharing some of my interests. And, apparently, they are geeky. I love to read, and watch movies. I love music. I can’t go anywhere without music. I love to see people but people I like and know. I am not too good meeting new people and not great at all socializing with people I don’t like, but I am working on it (so a little respect for this work-in-progress, please). I like going out but I prefer to go to places I know and that have good food, drinks, and music. Sometimes I feel like going to fancy places but I’ve found, through the years, that this is not as important to me as it used to be. Sometimes, I just want to stay home and watch TV shows with really good scripts. I don’t normally watch comedies. I don’t find them funny. I prefer sarcasm, now that’s hilarious to me. I’ve said this before and I will say it again; there is a lot to be said about being quiet in a car with someone and not feeling the need to fill the silence with meaningless words. I am a resurrected hopeless romantic. I find myself now searching for my rainbow connection, my own Landon Cater and Lloyd Dobler; hoping for the signs that will be my ‘Serendipity’ moment. And, in the spirit of Sleepless in Seattle, I want that magic touch, when you hold hands and you just know. I don’t know how anyone is going to live up to the last section (the hopeless romantic part) but I am convinced it will be that way.
RESPONSIBILITY- I want that person to be accountable for the life he leads and wants to lead. And I want that accountability to be geared towards bettering oneself. I would like to be successful in my career, and I would like him to be successful too. Choice of career is entirely up to him but giving it his all and then seeing all the rewards of hard work, is important. I would like him to welcome the things that separate men from boys. I would like him to be ready and unafraid to think and live for more than himself.
COURTSHIP and ROMANCE- I want to feel special. And, in my mind, me feeling special can be a result of the most inane things. Fetching me from work, meeting and socializing with my friends, going with me to have coffee or watch a movie, silly things like that. Flowers, text messages that say nothing and everything at the same time, call me cheesy. I don’t care.
LOYALTY and DEPENDABILITY- I don’t consider myself the beauty queen my cousin is, but I would like to be the only woman he sees. He can look at other women, but I want to be the only one he sees. The only one he wants. Trust is the key to every relationship. I want to be able to argue without fear of nuclear fallout in the form of irrational retribution. I would like to sleep peacefully at night knowing that the person I am with, whether physically with me or not, is really just with me. I don’t know if I’ve explained this well at all but I hope I have.
DESIRE- this is pretty self-explanatory, too.
Now, I know this is all about me, and my friends would say ‘well, that sounds just like me’, but I do recognize the need for give and take. And I am willing to do that, providing the giving and taking is fairly equitable.
So, this is my attempt at sending out the message of what I want for myself to the Universe. Waiting now. C’mon Universe. Hear me.