I'm staring a new job this month. Same company but different role. I am quite nervous about it, to be honest. It kinda feels like just when I get my balance, something rocks my carefully crafted boat. I'm beginning to think though that such is life. Just when you think you have it all figured out, you're thrown for a loop. I guess I should work on getting used to nothing ever working it quite the way you hope or plan.
In line with this, I am redirecting my energies to working on things I can control- myself.
I went to the gym over the weekend for the first time in years. It felt great. It felt like coming back to a class you loved and had to leave for some reason you don't even remember. I am working now on being able to get back to doing that on a regular basis.
I am doing mind exercises. I've decided to train my mind to move on. I was able to train it to forget soooo many years ago. And since I cant do that this time, I will train it to move on. So any time i get a thought that threatens to plunge me into that pit of depression Ive come to know so well, i make a conscious effort to think about other things. And only after the feeling of falling has passed do I allow myself to go back to those dangerous thoughts, try to process them objectively, and put away what I can. This is a work in progress and, to date my biggest project. One way I've decided to help myself is to open this blog to the public. Maybe through venting I can further release all the negativity that's been surrounding me for so long.