Cry

Months ago, I was looking for a song to fit my life situation. I do this often. Look for songs to fit whatever is happening to me at the moment. I assume it's a normal thing and I haven't really bothered to ask anyone if they do this as well. Anyway, I just heard the perfect song on the radio, on my way to work, today. I know it's late and it may not fit things exactly anymore but I thought I would post it anyway.

CRY - Kelly Clarkson

If anyone asks, I'll tell them we both just moved on
When people all stare I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk
Whenever I see you, I'll swallow my pride and bite my tongue
Pretend I'm okay with it all
Act like there's nothing wrong

Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry?
Cry

If anyone asks, I'll tell them we just grew apart
Yeah what do I care If they believe me or not
Whenever I feel
Your memory is breaking my heart
I'll pretend I'm okay with it all
Act like there's nothing wrong

Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry?
Cry

I'm talking in circles
I'm lying, they know it
Why won't this just all go away

Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry?
Cry
Cry

It's amazing how some songs can so perfectly talk about what and how you are feeling about things. Reading through these lyrics I am struck with a certain sense of sadness at how I felt and a certain amount of fear. I am trying not to think about how easily this can happen to me again. If I open myself up to new things I am also opening myself up to possible pain again. Am I really ready for that? I don't want to live life afraid. But maybe the fear barriers is a smarter way to go. Heaven knows plunging head first into things has just given me migraines. Ah, confusion again.