Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Tears are for the Weak

I never really thought it was shameful to cry. I'd often advise friends going through tough times to let it all out as this would make them feel better. I don't know then why I can't for the life of me, just cry. I've been told several times, by different people, that I have to cry to start the "healing process". At least, it will start me on that path to being OK and happy again. I know this. And like so many things I know logically, I can't seem to make my emotions follow.I feel sad, don't get me wrong. A lot of times I am so sad I just don't want to get out of bed. And I have cried. But I don't think I've had a major cry. The soul-wrenching, tear duct- cleansing cry that I need. Why, oh why?!?

Livi said she read in a book that controlling the way you think, your thoughts, is the most important thing. Everything else pales in importance to that. Is this another proof point that I cannot control my thoughts? Am i doomed?

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