I have to vent about an office mate. I need to because I at my limit with patience.
We are 4 in the team, including my boss. We are all women and all relatively young. Hehehe. I am the only external hire though. We develop training plans and ensure it's execution by trainers come training time. We also develop the materials when necessary. To add to that, we are in charge of process flows for the "services" to be trained. That's the team's objective in a nutshell.
Now, I don't know how or when it started but one of my team mates seems to have a problem with me. In the beginning, she would invite me for a quick smoke or to eat out. She would chat with me before leaving at the end of the day. And even joke around during work hours.
Lately, her greeting are lukewarm at best, when they are given, she doesn't invite for anything anymore, and if we are the only two people in our row of cubicles, there is most often silence- as if we are not team mates at all.
I don't know why the attitude shifted. I've been thinking and thinking if there was anything I said to make her angry or uncomfortable and I keep coming up with nothing. We were not "friends" enough for such closeness and since our schedules are different, we would only have intersecting hours to interact so not too much contact. So it got me thinking that could she be angry at me because I spend a lot of time with our boss? I like my boss, see. I can see her become a friend outside the office, in fact. We have a lot in common- we like similar books, we like to over think things to death, we both sing and sang in choirs in school, she has a young child as well, and she has a lot of mannerisms that remind me of Livi (which is comforting). Plus, we have the same schedule. So we hang out together during break time. We eat lunch together. We go home almost always at the same time.
My team mate has issues about not being liked- and perhaps this is because she is really moody and very abrasive. She has very little people skills. The way she converses with managers is astounding and I mean that in a negative way. Thing is, she knows her people skills are lacking and yet she justifies it by saying she doesn't care what people think. At the same time, she seems to care about other people and whether these people deserve or don't deserve the attention or kudos they get from their managers. She loves to highlight the negatives of a person at the same time showcasing how much she knows about "how things should be". But she doesn't care if she is acting the ways she should in the workplace. She needs so much micro management it is amazing. Every taks assigned to her is questioned, aspects within the task passed on to other people, and when this doesn't work she pouts! As in her face falls and her voice rises when conversing! She reminds me of my 2 year old not getting her way. It is the bloodiest fucking annoying thing in the universe. And that is just how she is in general. Towards me, she is cold. Like i greet her cheerfully and she gives me a barely audible grunt. We're supposed to be attending the same meeting, we're the only ones at our stations, and yet she gets up and goes to the training room as if she is the only one in the meeting or as if I am not her team mate, there present, getting ready to go to the same meeting. And then sometimes you're talking, asking a question, and she will just butt in with her own question as if you aren't talking. I want to fucking throw a monitor at her and tell her to grow up and get some manners. According to my boss, she may be the kind who needs to be praised and given a frequent pat on the back. But to get those you have to deserve it!! So, I've decided from now on, I will treat her with the same indifference. And if it's a matter of pitting skill against skill- even if I am an external hire and my business knowledge is not as deep as hers, I can still beat her at this competition she seems to be creating. And why do I know this? Because I am confident that I know what I know and can do this well, and that I can learn what I don't know yet and do these well, also. Because I AM better than her in a lot of ways beyond just knowing about the company. When it comes to pitting Key Competencies, I dare say that I have more cghecks under more competencies that she has. Even if she's been here longer, she's been in an agent role for 3 years. I've actually managed a team. This sounds arrogant, I know, but in this case, I really honestly believe it's true and that I need to portray a certain amount of arrogance for her to understand that she isn't dealing with some stupid person from the nether regions of Manila. She isn't dumb. Far from it. But she relies heavily on emotions as the basis of her actions and decisions, making thes unwise and ultimately hindering her from career growth and improvement. Grrrrrrr!
Does my ranting make any sense?
I really just needed to vent. She is really annoying the crap out of me.